Close Shave

so apologies or not updating my blog but after a health scare which luckily was not what I had googled it to be, Rocksey and I decided to go 'in cognito' for while. This was not only due to me not wanting to socialise but also to Rocksey washing his iphone which, as you may assume, rendered it completely useless.

In these times of being constantly accessible and available from all sorts of technology it was such a light relief to be un contactable for just a short while. Sitting under the apple trees with our chickens pecking around my feet with the Autumn sunshine on my face with no need to do anything urgent I got to thinking about how my life has changed over the years.

In my teens I wanted to be a popular girl, liked by both sexes and goos at school - but not too good.....any derogatory comments were analysed over and over again to the point of obsession. Even in my rebellious late teens wanting to be seen 'out of the box' I still wanted to fit in, be more outrageous than my peers and still be the girl that everyone wanted to be friends with.

In my 20's, there was the race for the most travelled, followed by the best career( how do you actually manage to do that as instead of going to university you spent the last 4 years getting stoned on a foreign beach?) , bag a husband, have the most talked about wedding, have the most beautiful babies and then into my 30's what schools to end those beautiful babies too, how much your house is worth, how much settlement did you get from husband one, and where are you going to marry husband no 2( this has to surpass wedding no 1......in spades.....)

Onto my 40's we spend hours sipping Chardonnay, then Pinot, then Sancerre with our long standing girlfriends discussing our children ( where did we go wrong?), our husbands (where did we go wrong?), our parents (where did they go wrong?), our careers ( what career???) and then......

we hit 50 and those kids, husbands, parents, careers just don't seem to make us wring our hands in anguish any more.

But then we have a whole new world to fret about, oh yes, no matter how much we are in denial ( hey Suki, those leather pants......) a whole new world approaches, welcome to those long periods (!!) between periods ( oh God no, please don't let me be pregnant), muffin tops, ( I am obsessive over sit ups why why why has this happened to me), what do I wear to this event/that event/ to go to the supermarket?( mutton/lamb/goat????)

And then you get that ...OMG what is that? was that here yesterday/last week? feeling/thought and who cares what you are wearing and nothing makes sense any more.

So anyway, my recent health scare was in fact nothing to worry about, apart from the 3 weeks of worrying that I, covertly did, and sitting under the apple tree with the Autumn sun on my face with our chickens pecking around my feet I realised that whatever the world throws at me ( including Rockseys iphone incident) I am glad that my life has turned out like it has and I may not have been the most popular girl in the class, the most gifted or outrageous but I have done alright, my kids have done alright and Rocksey, has done more than alright having me in his life and thats, thank you God, is alright by me.